2 minute read

wot? no email?

Nope. So if you don’t get a message from me for a little while, or your messages don’t get through, then just hold yer horses. I think it is something to do with ‘server upgrades’ with my hosting company, but am not absolutely positive…

you want pathetic?

So I am walking down a street in St. Kilda this past weekend – in broad daylight – about to make a call on my mobile phone. Walk past three scary looking blokes – bigger and older than me – but nonchalantly amble past with headphones in my ears listening to music. Hear them shout. Ignore. Hear one shout again. Ignore, but speed up walking. Hear one running up to me. Oh, poo. “Hey, will your aerial work in my mobile phone,” says the guy. “Nope,” reply I, “you have a Nokia phone, and mine is Ericsson.” Then, in one of those ‘how quickly did that happen’ occurrences, the guy had unscrewed my aerial and was jamming it into his phone. “It won’t work,” I say, thinking that this could get bad. “It’s OK, I am not going to rob you,” he says, “I’ve got money, me” [includes a short demonstration of dangly gold jewellery, a la Jimmy Saville of Jim’ll Fix It fame]. This means that he doesn’t have money, and I get more scared. He calls his mate over – “hey, will this work?” I say no, he says “I dunno, yeah.” By now, my famous powers of witty repartee have left me, the guys walk off, with the aerial, and he says, “now **** off, before we beat you up.” I stand there, slack-jawed, with “it’s only worth $25 (about ten pounds)” rumbling through my head, and they disappear around the corner.

I stood there, thought what, laughed inwardly (rather than cried), and could do nothing but saunter on my merry way.


What makes people able to do this? Sometimes I wonder about the future of the human race, and episodes like that make me fearful. I know that I am not big or scary, but I am bigger and scarier than some and wouldn’t dream of doing that to someone smaller and less scary than me. I guess that I should thank my lucky stars that they didn’t take anything more, it could have been worse, etc… But I did put a pox on them, and their children (if they were able to have any, which I doubt) and pretty soon, all their hair will fall out, and their lives will become even more shit. Ha.

Sometimes, life just leaves me flabbergasted. And that is a cool word.

but some things make it worth it

Yep, only two days until George arrives back in to my life (although she never really left it), and boy do I have butterflies…