from an email:

Via plasticbag.org, one of the funniest things I have seen in ages…

Universal Pictures announced today they plan to make a film of the momentous football match that took place on Saturday. “Five-One” is the tentative title of what could be next year’s big summer hit, depicting the American national soccer team’s stunning victory over Germany.

Nicholas Cage heads an all star cast as the captain of the brave US Soccer team haunted by the trauma of losing in the 2000 World Cup final on penalties and the death of his wife in a riot caused by English football hooligans, and finds love in the arms of a female sports journalist played by Julia Roberts. Mel Gibson is the no-nonsense Swedish coach who leads them to glory, with Keanu Reeves, Ben Affleck, Matt Damon and Will Smith playing some of Cage’s heroic team mates.

Jeremy Irons is set to star as Sir Nigel Villiers-Smythe, the dastardly Englishman who coaches the German team and forces them to play with poisoned-tipped studs to try and cheat the heroic American team out of victory. Director Steven Spielberg defended the film-makers’ decision to focus on the American contribution to the victory over Germany and the inaccurate & even imagined events in the story, saying, “Obviously we’ve had to take some artistic licence to make the story work on film, but I hope that what we produce will be true to the spirit of what happened on that famous night.”