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We lost some people at work today, and their work got ‘divvied up’. I got promoted – to Team Leader. Which reminds me of The Office:

“Team leader don’t mean anything mate.”

“Excuse me, it means I’m the leader of a team.”

“No it doesn’t-it’s a title someone’s given you to get you to do something they don’t want to do, for free. Right? It’s like making a div kid at school milk monitor. No one respects it.”

“I think they do.”

“No they don’t Gareth.”

“Er, yes they do, because if people were rude to me then I used to give them their milk last, so it was warm.”