A letter to Stewart

Oh, haha – voicemail! Ye surely jests, young sire?

How was Kings Cross? Are there still lots of maniacal drug-using hobo’s skulking outside conveniently-placed takeaway food stores? Dollar pizza?

I can guess it was weird. I hope you stayed in the same hostel!

Anyway I am guessing that, with a 24hr journey, and you leaving sometime about now, you will get back into good ole’ blighty at just the same time that I jet off for a week’s holiday in sunny Corfu? No, really! I couldn’t have timed it better if I had tried, could I? But I will be thinking of you as I lie next to the pool, overlooking the Med / Adriatic (?), drinking delightfully-coloured cocktails and successfully completing yet another sudoku puzzle.

So I will leave you with a little refresher on what you missed while away – Extras, the Ricky Gervais series, was fantastic (and I might just have copies on my computer for you to watch!), Big Brother was great, with Craig developing an unhealthy obsession with Ant’knee which turned into something out of a Hitchcock film. Very entertaining. (You can see my brief brush with fame recently here). Glastonbury was muddy but great fun. Sudoku has taken over the planet. There are now entire cities dedicated to this simple Japanese puzzle. I think it is their attempt to cripple our economy to the same level as their own.

The cricket! I guess you will have had most of that, but it has actually turned me into a bit of a fan. Haven’t the foggiest about what goes on, but you gotta love them hats. Reminded me of the barmy-army back in the day – although without the gentle ribbing about Tosh Lyons. People forget so quickly these days. And the football has begun again – not sure about the overpaid rubbish in the Premiership, but all you need to know is that United (Sheffield, that is) are top of the league. In fact, they have won every game – except the one I paid £24 to see, where they played absolutely rubbish. I am not going to see them again.

The garden is finished – along with shed and new turf – although with the weather turning into it’s usual autumnal rubbish, you might have to admire it from afar (or the bathroom window as it is otherwise known). But you won’t have to lug anymore heavy material through our flat until at least next year now.

We went to Rome, which was bloomin’ great. And Camber Sands, which was rubbish.

So, a summer of ups and downs – hope yours was great, and look forward to nursing you through your homecoming depression!

Really looking forward to catching up again soon,

James!